Warm Bodies Book Review

Having Twilight author, Stephanie Meyer, applaud your work on the cover of your debut novel--which happens to be about romance and zombies--isn't exactly an awesome selling point for horror fans. When I initially saw the cover of Warm Bodies and read the premise, I brushed the book off as awful paranormal romance trash that would ruin my favorite horror subgenre. However, upon finally reading the novel, I was pleasantly surprised by the characters, the themes, and the new zombie world created by the author.

Warm Bodies is the first novel for Isaac Marion and it was initially self-published on the author's website. The story is an interesting one and can be described as paranormal romance, however, the book itself is much deeper than its designated category makes it seem. Although the story is paranormal and has a romantic element to it, it is more about humanity and what it means to take life for granted.

The story opens with R, a zombie who has no idea who he really is. He can speak few words and he cannot read much or remember his name but he does have feelings and compassion for what is going on in the world around him. He has a zombie friend, M, and is given a wife as well as two zombie children for the pair to raise. However, something is missing for the young zombie and he can't quite figure out what it is--until he eats Perry Kelvin.

On a routine raid for food, R and his hoard of zombies find a group of survivors and attack. R feasts on a young boy, Perry Kelvin, and from the moment he bites into his brain, he begins reliving the boys memories, the most important one being the memories of his relationship with his girlfriend, Julie. Immediately feeling something new and exciting, R becomes connected to his victim's girlfriend and rescues her from being eaten, eventually taking her back to his living quarters.

At first Julie is very standoffish, which is to be expected in her situation, and it made me question how the character would be willing to have an important relationship with the zombie character. However, as I continued reading and learned more about the characters and their lives, everything became clear to me and it made sense how the pair could create a bond, despite their unusual situation.

Marion writes with ease and he created a beautiful yet flawed world which made me stop and really think about how awesome I have it (as of right now). The characterization is spot-on and I found myself picturing exactly what each person looked like and knew exactly what they would say in a given situation.

Julie is a strong-minded character with a mouth like a truck driver and I absolutely loved her for that. She was real, flawed, but completely optimistic despite the dire situation and declining world around her. Unlike Bella in Twilight, there is a reason to love this girl and to fight for her because she is the girl you would want by your side, for more reasons than one: she is the best friend, the girl next door, and the girl who could totally kick your ass if need be while simultaneously chugging some brewskis. And she actually has a mind of her own! Who knew that girls could think for themselves!

Even the zombie character, R, is sympathetic despite the fact that he's a zombie and he killed Julie's love. The author developed R perfectly, showcasing just how heartbreaking his story is, making you root for him and hope that he will get his second chance at life. R has many redeeming qualities as well, such as his selflessness in regard to Julie and his determination to change his ways, which only furthers the readers love for the character.

Warm Bodies doesn't simply just focus on the relationship between Julie and R, it paints a picture of the post-apocalyptic world that they live in, showcasing exactly how much of a toll the new world takes on each individual within it. We learn about Perry through his memories and we witness the decline of a family relationship with Julie and her stone-faced father.

The reader is taken into the mind of the zombie and given a peak at the world that they live in along with the humans. We are shown that they are still like us, only dead, and they are having just as hard a time dealing with the world as the Living are. In comparison, Marion shows the world that the Living are rebuilding and the awful circumstances surrounding them.

I hate to describe it as paranormal romance because people will automatically assume it's a story about a dumb broad who starts banging a dead guy. And they would be DEAD wrong (pun intended). The story allows the reader to see this world where we are all headed if we don't stop and soak in all that we have now. People kill the Earth and never stop to appreciate their surroundings and if one keeps taking something for granted, they eventually will lose it.

It's a beautiful story about relationships, life, and death. It's a story about humanity as well as the loss of it and how to regain it back again. It's not about a stalker-vampire and feminine werewolf being in love with a dull girl. It's not about another dull girl being completely controlled and abused by a rich man in an "amazing" relationship. It's a real story about real people and real issues--just with zombies.

Warm Bodies is being made into a film to be released 2013, starring Teresa Palmer as Julie and a newcomer as R. However, the production team behind the Twilight saga is behind the film and it seems as though they are really pushing the romance aspect of the story. Plus, I'm not really sure how well the complex world of the book will play out on screen, especially since a lot of what the reader is given is through memories and thoughts. We'll see, I guess.

The book is beyond a paranormal romance novel; it is the study of relationships and humanity. The story and its characters are engrossing from start to finish and I can guarantee upon completion of the story, you will think differently about your life. It is a very creative and different approach to the zombie subgenre and it was done respectfully and well. I recommend this story to anyone looking for an interesting zombie read.

Notorious Killer Kids

Usually when a horrific murder happens people assume that the crime was done by an adult. Afterall, children are innocent creatures who would never commit a disturbing act, right? In some cases, authorities and the community have been shocked to discover that some of the most vicious acts were made by kids under the age of 18. In response to my fascination of young murders, as well as the television series Killer Kids, I decided to compile a list of whom I believe to be some of the worst murderous offenders under the legal drinking and voting ages.

10.) Juliet Hulme and Pauline Parker

The teen girls, who's story inspired the Peter Jackson film, Heavenly Creatures, bonded over a shared history of bodily ailments and quickly became best friends. The pair's friendship turned obsessive and when their parents feared that the pair were lesbians, they did everything they could to keep the girls a part. When Hulme was informed that she would be sent to live in South Africa, the two girls devised a plan that would keep them together. On June 22, 1954, Hulme and Parker went to the park with Parker's mother, Honora, where they bludgeoned her to death with a brick wrapped in a stocking. The girl's first told authorities that the woman accidentally fell and hit her head, however, upon examination of the body, police realized that the woman was murdered. The young girls were put on trial and sent to prison for 5 years, later moving on to lead successful lives. Hulme went on to a be a successful crime novelist (Anne Perry) in America while Parker opened up a children's riding school. Well, it's nice to know that killing someone won't hinder your career and dreams!

9.) Eric Smith

This lovely young man is probably the prime example of ginger's having no soul. Smith was 13 years old when he decided to take out his frustrations on an adorable 4 year-old boy, Derrick Robie. Smith, who was constantly bullied for his appearance, lured Robie into a secluded location near his home in New York where he proceeded to drop two boulder's onto the boy's head, undress him, and then sodomize him with a stick. The boy died of the trauma to his head as well as asphyxiation. Two days after his death, Smith confessed to the crime and was sentenced to life in prison. Smith has been denied parole several times, most recently this month. Umm, all I know is this: Smith most definitely met his karma for taking the life of the helpless little boy and more importantly, he's probably been sodomized with things far worse than a stick while in jail. Every day is "Kick a ginger day" while in there and he's prime rib!

8.) Joshua Phillips

This case really shows you what fear can cause somebody to do. The then 14 year-old boy from Florida was playing baseball with his 8 year-old neighbor, Maddie Clifton, when he accidentally hit her in the eye with the bat. When Maddie preceded to scream, Phillips dragged her into his room for fear of getting in trouble. While inside, the young boy strangled the girl with a phone cord for 15 minutes, hit her over the head with a bat, and stabbed her 11 times. Following the murder, the 14 year-old stuffed Maddie under his waterbed where she stayed for an entire week. She was discovered by Phillips' mother while cleaning and the young boy was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison without parole. The argument was that Phillips did everything in a panic for fear that his overbearing father would punish him but uhhh, his actions were a little overboard, don't you think? Now Phillips probably wishes that his strict father was still the only man he has to fear.

7.) Jon Venables and Robert Thompson

The murder of James Bulger is the perfect lesson in never leaving your child alone while out shopping--or anywhere for that matter. On February 12, 1993, when Mrs. Bulger left her 2 year-old son outside a shop in England, he fell prey to two demented 10 year-old boys who were looking to cause some trouble. Jon Venables and Robert Thompson kidnapped the toddler and carried him to his final destination, dropping him on his head several times and being witnessed by 38 different people along the way. The dangerous duo brought Bulgar to a railway where they threw paint into his eye, threw rocks and pebbles at him, stomped on him, undressed him, and placed a boulder on his head before placing him onto the railway to later be hit by a train. Surveillance footage showed the boys abducting the toddler and they were arrested for the crime and put into custody until the age of 18 and then placed on lifelong license--whatever that means. In 2010, Venables violated his probation and was sent to prison. It's probably only a matter of time before Thompson does something again as well. Thank God I don't live in England!

6.)Melinda Loveless

One thing is for sure--girls are crazy bitches, no matter what their age. That craziness is amped up even further when love is involved and for 12 year-old Shanda Sharer, she fell for the wrong girl. The jealousy-filled crime was led by the psychotic pre-teen, Melinda Loveless, and her three friends who hadn't even known their victim. When Loveless became jealous of her ex-girlfriend's newest relationship with a pretty girl, Sharer, she vowed to make the girl pay. Insisting that she just wanted to scare Sharer with a knife, Loveless convinced Toni Lawrence, Hope Rippey, and Laurie Tackett to drive her to the young girl's home where they lured her into the car with false claims that her girlfriend was waiting for her. Once inside the car, Sharer was held at knife point by Loveless and taken to a remote location where she was beaten and strangled until she lost consciousness. The girl was then kept in Tackett's trunk where she was tortured for hours and was stabbed in the chest several times by Loveless and Tackett. By the end of the night, the girls brought Sharer to a final location where they burned her alive and then the group went to McDonald's for breakfast, making jokes about how Sharer's body resembled their breakfast sausage. Well, I'm sure Loveless wishes that she was having some sausage rather than the countless amount of tacos and broomsticks she will be having until 2020.

5.) Alyssa Bustamante

Ugh, this little bitch gives a bad rep to horror fans--just look at her! Disgusting, right? And in more ways than one. This little C-WORD (which I never use because I HATE it, however, it perfectly describes her). When the then 15 year-old wanted to have some fun and spice up her mediocre life, she decided that she was going to kill someone. Her victim was 9 year-old Elizabeth Olten whom she stabbed, strangled, and slit the throat of. Following the horrific crime, Alyssa Bustamante casually wrote about the experience in her journal calling it "ahmazing" and a "pretty enjoyable" experience--yes, in those exact childish words. The moron clearly kept her journal so it could be used against her as evidence and sure as shit, it was. The girl simply "wanted to know what it would be like to kill someone" and she succeeded. Now she will know what it's like to be vulnerable and assaulted when she rots in hell.Go screw yourself you clown--or should I have said "Woo woo"?

4.) Martin Puccio and the Broward County 7

These Florida kids are a little older than most of the other cases previously discussed but they were all very, very young intellectually. When 20 year-old Martin Puccio met 18 year-old Lisa Connelly, she helped convince him that he should kill his best friend, Bobby Kent, for his horrible mistreatment. When the obviously mentally imbalanced and insecure Connelly wanted to spend more time with her new boyfriend, she set Kent up with her whore of a friend, Ali Willis (17). However, the relationship didn't work out and Connelly had to devise another plan to rid Kent from her and Puccio's lives for good. The manipulative Connelly told Ali that Kent was planning on killing her baby and that she wanted to discuss a plan to kill him. So, Ali went to Connelly's house with two friends, 17 year-old Donny Semenac and 18 year-old Heather Swallers, where they were greeted by self-proclaimed hitman, Derek Kaufman. Together, the group of teens discussed how they would get rid of Kent and his bullying ways for good. On July 14, 1993, the group lured Kent to a secluded construction site with the thought of having sex with Ali. Instead of having sex, Kent was stabbed repeatedly and beat over the head with a baseball bat. Puccio, Semenac, and Kaufman all received life in prison while the remaining members of the group had reduced sentences. Moral of the story?
Be careful who your friends are and when you think you REALLY want to have sex, masturbate instead--it could save your life.

3.)Jesse Pomeroy

This lovely bastard hails from the classy location of Charlestown, Massachusetts--you know, the place filled with the lowlifes depicted in The Town? Yup, this guy lived pretty close to where I'm from (well, in the same state!) and he was as psychotic as they come. They always say that Lynn is the "City of Sin" but I'm pretty sure that Charlestown is the breeding ground for lunatics. Case and point: Between 1871-1872 Jesse Pomeroy, then 12, attacked several young boys in the Boston area but was never arrested. In 1874, when the boy was 14, he murdered 10 year-old Katie Curran and disposed of her remains in his mother's basement. Around this time, the mutilated body of 4 year-old Horace Millen was found in the Dorchester Bay area. Pomeroy became the youngest person convicted of murder in the first degree in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Oh, don't worry Pomeroy--I'm sure you won't be the only one on that list for much longer.

2.) Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs

Whenever I think about this case I can't help but shudder out of fear, disgust and sadness all in one. In 2007, two 19 year-old men committed some of the most vicious acts in the Ukraine, further reminding me why I would never want to go there. Viktor Sayenko and Igor Suprunyuk (what a sexy name) decided that they wanted to make some fast cash and in today's society the best way to do that is to perform lude acts on film. I mean, look at the guys of Jackass and pretty much every other douche on YouTube and Break, right? Anyway, the twisted bastards wanted to make something good; they didn't want to just do silly acts with no depth. No, they wanted to murder people--because that's so much friggin better?! The individuals, along with one other accomplice, senselessly murdered 33 people over a short-span of time before eventually being caught and the worst part is that they filmed most of their crimes. The men beat individuals, murdered cats, and even cut a fetus from a woman's belly. Although most of their crimes were severe, the most notorious of the spree was the death of Sergei Yatzenko whose murder was filmed and leaked onto the internet. The scariest thing about all this was that the boys had absolutely no remorse--they were seen and heard laughing throughout their video recordings as if what they were doing was just another day in the park. Both of the attackers were sentenced to life in prison but somebody needs to send them to a Hostel where they will be tortured and murdered for fun.

1.) Daphne Abdela

There's nothing worse than an entitled little brat--unless you're an entitled little brat with some serious anger issues. When 15 year-old Daphne Abdela was out drinking one night in Central Park with friend, Christopher Vasquez, the pair decided to attack and rob a passerby. According to Abdela, it was Vasquez who stabbed the 44 year-old stranger--at least 50 times--before slicing his throat. The deranged young couple robbed the man of whatever he had and Abdela ordered Vasquez to gut their victim. Abdela wanted the victim gutted so that he would sink when they threw him into the lake. When authorities investigated further, they discovered that the victim wasn't a stranger to Abdela, he was a friend she had known from rehab. An altercation had occurred between the man and Vasquez prior to the assault which was described as one of the worst things that the officers had ever seen. The body was discovered with multiple stab wounds, an almost severed wrist, and his intestines hanging from his body. Abdela tried to manipulate and lie her way out of the situation--because she is an evil little bitch--however, she sabotaged herself with an "anonymous" phone call made to police near her home. The girl served her time but guess what--she's out now and she's probably lurking Central Park like an evil troll, waiting for her next victim.

Zombie Outbreak in Miami

The zombie apocalypse has finally begun, folks. We all knew it was inevitable--at least, I did--we just didn't think that it would start so soon. I guess that's how these disasters and outbreaks usually happen though, right? The chaos broke out Saturday, May 26, in Miami when a naked man was shot after eating the face of another person. Welp, I guess it's time to gather my zombie survival group together!

The Miami Herald reported that around 2pm Saturday, shots were heard after a women flagged down an officer regarding two men fighting with each other outside of their offices. According to witnesses, the attacker was a naked man who was mauling the victim.

Witnesses told reporters that the officer ordered the attacker to back away and when he ignored the warnings he was shot. The attacker continued to eat the victim despite being shot, resulting in the officer firing several more rounds before finally killing the naked man. The victim was then flown to Jackson Memorial Hospital Ryder Trauma Center for critical injuries.

Following the incident, Armando Aguilar of the Fraternal Order of the Miami Police, made a statement regarding the case. He stated that when the officer ordered the attacker to stop, the attacker growled and continued to eat the man. The attacker feasted on the victim's nose and eyeballs (WTF?!) and the officer was forced to shoot him several times until he was dead.

Okay, so it's not exactly the start of a zombie apocalypse but it sounds pretty damn close. The attacker fit the description of a zombie, minus the dead part, but he got the whole cannibalism thing down pact. Plus, it took several bullets before he actually died and the fatal shot was probably one to the head. In my opinion, that's a zombie!

Deep down, some part of me really wants a zombie apocalypse to start--we need to wipe off all the worthless shlubs that are currently wasting our air space one way or the other. And I know zombies like it's my job--I'm pretty sure I could survive.

I guess now I'll just have to patiently wait for the next odd case to pop up. In the meantime, I will be preparing my survival kit.

Stephen King and Son Joe Hill Collaborating

Back when Stephen King was trying to make it big in the publishing world, he was submitting his short stories to magazines and making whatever he could off of them to support his family. Now, genre and writing mags aside, the days of fiction stories in magazines are almost extinct. Thanks to Esquire magazine and their upcoming Fiction for Men series, original fiction pieces are making a comeback and horror master, Stephen King, is collaborating with son, Joe Hill, to produce a new original story, In the Tall Grass.

According to King's website, the new story will be published in two parts to be featured in Esquire's June/July issue, with a conclusion in August. The father-son duo aren't the only ones getting in on the action; writers Lee Child and Colum McCann will also publish works in the June/July issue of the mens magazine.

There aren't many details on the story but it will most likely be weird and filled with aliens or some ridiculous twist. Additional short stories by Aaron Gwyn, Luis Alberto Urrea, and Jess Walter will also be featured in the Fiction for Men series, which is only available for print and iPad editions.

I am really excited that they are bringing back fiction work to magazines but a little disappointed that the works are only from already established authors. Hopefully, the magazine will expand it's fiction series and allow for submissions--they need to think about the struggling artists out there too (Like me. I have loans to pay, son!).

Woodhaven Productions Greenlights 'Self Storage'

Although Rhode Island may be having some issues with Curt Schilling and his game company (at least he won the Sox's the World Series, right?!), they are doing very well in the horror department all thanks to Chad A. Verdi's Woodhaven Productions. The film company has just green-lit it's third horror film, Self-Storage, which will star Jonathan Silverman.

Woodhaven Productions had success early on with it's first horror film, Inkubus, which has sold over 100,000 DVDs and had over 100 million buys VOD. Verdi told Dread-Central, "Inkubus is just the beginning for Woodhaven...we’ll be following up with our second horror film, Infected, starring William Forsythe and Michael Madsen, who battle zombies to the death."

While the production company waits to release Infected on Halloween 2012, it will begin production on Self-Storage in July in East Greenwhich, RI. The film will star Silverman, who previously starred in Inkubus, and will be directed by newcomer, Tom Denucci, who briefly discussed the project with me here.

Self-Storage tells the story of Jake, a night security guard at a highly secure self-storage facility. When Jake invites his friends to his work for a giant booze-filled party, he discovers that the place has some dark secrets. Madness will surely ensue and I cannot wait!

Lin Shaye Joins Hell Hunters

Lin Shaye is my hero. The actress has proved that she can be hilarious (and disgusting) in comedies like There's Something About Mary and Kingpin and she's also showed horror fans her serious side in films like Insidious. The versatile actress has just added another horror project to her resume and has signed on to star in the upcoming television series, Hell Hunters, which also stars Bill Mosley and Michael Berryman.

According to a press release, Shaye will star as a disgusting and demented grandmother to one of the main characters in the series.Hmm, I'm sensing a pattern in the characters that she plays--she's always crazy or disgusting.

The show, created by Lawrence Donini, is an action/horror thriller that will follow two childhood friends, played by Mosley and Berryman, who decide to become the vigilante characters in a horrific comic book they read. Hell Hunters is still in early development so there aren't many details on the project as of now but it sounds like the perfect series for FEARnet, don't you think?

True Blood Announces it's New Showrunner

With the fifth season of True Blood quickly approaching, HBO has finally announced who will take over for current showrunner, Allan Ball, if the show is renewed for a sixth season. Co-executive producer, Mark Hudis, will become showrunner of the hit vampire series as a part of an overall deal he made with the network.

Deadline reports of the producer's promotion and explains that it is a part of a two-year deal which includes a development component. Hudis is no stranger to the steamy series; he has been working as executive producer for season 4 and the upcoming season 5.

The new showrunner previously worked with Ball on the CBS series, Cybil, and the pair also wrote for AdWeek. Although Ball is stepping down as the head of the series, he will remain as a consultant if the show does get renewed--and why wouldn't it?

True Blood season 5 premieres June 10 at 9pm on HBO.