Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Best Mom's in Horror


Mother's are one of the most important people in your life, or at least they should be. Afterall, your relationship with your mother, good or bad, reflects on how you will establish relationships with others in the future. Mother's have the ability to create an exceptional child or create an absolute lunatic and what other place showcases this better than horror? Since Mother's Day is right around the corner, I wanted to take the time to make a list to honor the best mother's in horror. Happy Mother's Day, ladies!

10.)Laurie Strode--H20


I think if Josh Hartnett was my son I would kill myself. Why, you ask? Because he is so damn hot, it would be absolute torture for me to be his mother. Just kidding (sort of). Well, in Halloween H20, not only does Laurie Strode have an incredibly hot son to deal with, she has that whole killer-brother thing going on for her, which has made her just a tiny bit crazy. Laurie is obviously overbearing and overprotective of her son and who wouldn't be after going through what she did at the hands of a family member? Except, her son kind of hates her for it and just wants to be free to do what he wants. This is the best case of where you should always listen to your mother because when Laurie's son decides to disregard her orders and party with his friends, uncle Michael comes back to finish what he started. Don't worry though, Josh--your mom is Laurie-Friggin-Strode; she's the reigning Scream Queen of Horror...she can handle anything. And she does, all without breaking a sweat.

9.)Mrs. Loomis--Scream 2


I'm not even going to pretend like Mrs. Loomis in Scream 2 isn't crazy. In fact, she is fucking crazy and she has a little problem with accepting things as they are. After the death of her son, Billy, she goes cray-cray and decides to seek revenge on the woman who killed him--Sidney Prescott. Uh, Mrs. Loomis, did you forget that your son killed a whole bunch of kids and then tried to kill Sidney? He had it coming. Obviously, Mrs. Loomis doesn't like to admit the truth, in fact, Billy did all those killings out of his love for his mother. So, the best thing for her to do is to take over where he left off. That is dedication at its finest.

8.)Sarah--Inside


Pregnancies bring many risks for any expectant mother but many wouldn't expect to be stalked and attacked the night before their delivery. The night before she is scheduled to have a C-section, Sarah is awoken in the middle of the night when a pair of scissors cut into her pregnant belly. Frightened and hurt, she realizes that she is in the company of a crazy woman hell bent on taking her child. However, Sarah does not go down without a fight as she does her best to protect her unborn child while simultaneously fighting off a crazy lady. Hey lady, get your own damn baby!

7.)Estelle Collingwood--The Last House on the Left (72)


Mother's are known to be protective of their young and when Mrs. Collingwood's daughter is murdered by a gang of hoodlums--who happened to stumble upon her home--she seeks revenge in the most brutal of ways. A woman's greatest power is her sex appeal and the ability to exploit it to her advantage...and that's exactly what Mrs. Collingwood does when she avenges her daughter's death. When one of the criminals thinks he's about to get some mouth love from the lovely mother, he's in for a big surprise when instead, she bites his penis off. UM, BEST REVENGE EVER? Yes.

6.)Mama Firefly--House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects


Everyone wishes that their mom was as badass as Mama Firefly. Although slightly crazy, the woman of the Firefly clan was really more like a protective mother bear who wanted to keep her family safe. Sure, it involved killing people but at least it was done all in good spirit, right? Mama Firefly was so dedicated to her kids that she wanted to continue protecting them by taking her own life once she was caught. Her plan didn't exactly work but at least she tried. It's the thought that counts!

5.)Rosemary Woodhouse--Rosemary's Baby


Every woman's dream is to one day have a baby with the man that she loves. After finally becoming pregnant with her husband--in a drunken stupor--Rosemary starts experiencing weird things. She soon realizes that it wasn't her husband who got her pregnant and that the baby she is carrying is the spawn of Satan. When Rosemary gives birth, she does what any loving mother would do and embraces the child with open arms, despite the fact that it isn't human. I guess when life gives ya lemons, make lemonade--and that's exactly what Rosemary did.

4.)Wendy Torrance--The Shining


Oh, Wendy...you really did try to make things work, you truly did. It's not your fault that the hotel you and your family were staying in caused your husband to lose his mind. When things get life-threatening for Wendy and her son, the normally timid and quiet mom steps up to the plate and fights for both of their lives. Not only does she confront Jack with a baseball bat, she defends herself with a big 'ol kitchen knife as well. She makes sure to get her son to safety before thinking of herself and that right there is a real mother. Selflessness is the best quality anyone could have.

3.)Rachel Keller--The Ring


What would you do if someone you loved watched a video that would kill them seven days later? In The Ring, supermom Rachel goes out of her way to solve a long-running mystery in order to save her stupid son from his impending doom. Rachel willingly puts herself into danger as she investigates the creation of the cursed video, knowing very well she could get hurt. However, her unconditional love for her son, who doesn't even have the decency to call her mom, proves strong enough and she fights for his life until the very end. Kids everywhere can only hope that their mom would fight off Samara for them--have you seen that little bitch? TERRIFYING.

2.)Margaret White--Carrie


I said I would make a list of the best moms in horror--I didn't say that they had to be the best moms. Margaret White is probably one of the worst mom's in horror because her over-religious babble bull drove her sheltered daughter over the edge. If it wasn't for Margaret's babying and punishing, Carrie probably never would have been as weird and naive as she was, therefore, she would have had friends and never would have used telekinesis to kill her fellow students at prom. Oh well. In her own way, Margaret was only trying to keep her daughter safe. However, someone needed to keep Mrs. White safe from herself. RIP mofo.

1.) Mrs. Voorhees--Friday the 13th


Considerably the greatest mom in horror, Pamela Voorhees was only trying to avenge the death of her son--and who could blame her? Voorhees was the initial killer in the Friday the 13th series, which showcased horny camp counselors meeting their doom at Camp Crystal Lake. You see, the counselors were too busy having sex when they should have been paying attention to poor Jason, who accidentally drowned on their watch. Years later, Mrs. Voorhees vowed to teach the counselors a lesson and a legend was born. Here's to you, Mrs. Voorhees, the mother we all wish that we had.

1 comments:

Shit Movie Fest said...

Great list, I have to repost this come Sunday :)

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