Monday, April 30, 2012

2

Tenants of "Amityville House" Sue Landlord


Man, it is so hard to find a place to live nowadays. With the insane rent and utility expenses, it has become almost impossible to move out of your parents basement and support yourself. Not only are expenses an issue when looking for a new home--people also need to worry about their place being haunted! Unfortunately for Michele Callan and her fiance, Josue Chinchilla, they picked the house in which The Amityville Horror was filmed--and now she's suing her landlord!

The terrified couple moved into their new home in Tom's River, New Jersey, along with their two children, on March 1. After experiencing what they believe to be paranormal activity, the family fled from the home on March 13 and have been staying in a hotel ever since. At first, the family thought that the spooky activity was just a part of them adjusting to a new home. However, the activity became worse with doors banging shut, clothes flying out of closets, and eery voice recordings that said, "Let it burn."

Shortly after fleeing the home, which was apparently used as the home for the 1979 horror classic, The Amityville Horror, the couple filed a lawsuit in a New Jersey Superior Court, seeking the $2,250 deposit from their landlord, Richard Lopez.

Lopez quickly filed a countersuit, claiming that the couple was simply trying to get out of their lease early. The landlord's attorney, David Semanchik, told the Asbury Park Press,"Frankly, there is something else going on...She is a single mom, she has this fiancé living with her. I think she is in over her head and she can’t afford the rent.”

Now, Lopez has filed a claim against his former tenants insisting that their false allegations of a haunting may steer future renters and buyers away from the property.

First of all, why didn't the dumb tenants research their home and find that it was the house used for filming a movie about one of the most haunted houses in America? Maybe they did and that's where they came up with their ridiculous idea of suing their landlord. I guess the lesson learned here is now people can pretend their house is haunted in order to get out of a contract to pay for it. You gotta love people.

Friday, April 27, 2012

4

Todd and the Book of Pure Evil is Dunzo


Holy Jupitershit! It looks like Todd and his gang of friends won't be fighting evil in the halls of Crowley high any longer. The cult hit, Todd and the Book of Pure Evil, has just been canceled from the Canadian network, Space, which originally aired the show.

The show, which was just recently picked up by FEARnet in the U.S. as well as other networks in Germany, Norway, Sweden and Denmark, has officially been pulled from the Space network, a rep has confirmed. The show's creator, Craig David Wallace, even confirmed the news Monday, April 23, at the Writers Guild of Canada Screenwriting Awards, where he was being honored for the horror comedy series.

Fans everywhere are most likely devastated because the series perfectly suited our nerdy horror needs and now it will be no more. The show is still airing the remainder of Season 2 on FEARnet and my hope is that the network will continue the series and produce a third season.

The show follows a group of teens who fight the evils caused by a demonic book while simultaneously going to high school and dealing with their own real-life issues. Known for its witty and hilarious dialogue as well as its respect to the genre with its numerous homages and geeky horror fantasies, the series is a gem in the world of crappy television. It will seriously be missed and audiences will definitely mourn this loss. I'll try to hold myself together as I try to grip the reality of no longer seeing Chris Leavins on my TV screen on a weekly basis.

Let's all pour out a little bit of liquor as we remember Todd and the Book of Pure Evil. It was a good run.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

1

Another Vampire Movie...Seriously?


Twilight has ruined many things for horror fans, particularly the Vampires lore. Ever since the poorly written teen paranormal series became a phenomenon, love-struck vampire stories have been popping up everywhere, completely destroying the badass lore behind the blood-thirsty creatures. Now, horror fans can prepare to see the vampire subgenre take another hit when the film adaptation of the book series, Blood of Eden, hits the big screen.

Deadline reports that Palomar Pictures has just bought the rights to the film adaptation to the popular teen book series written by Julie Kagawaga (Um, best last name ever? WalkaWalka!). Palomar principal, Joni Sighvatsson stated, "It makes the series an ideal subject for a film adaptation. Julie’s ability to familiarize the reader with this complex world in a few pages demonstrates the cinematic qualities of her imagination and complements my own sensibilities as a film producer.”

The young adult paranormal series takes place in a futuristic world where a deadly virus has wiped out most of the human population, leaving the remaining survivors to serve as slaves and food for the Vampire population who rule the world. The first book in the series, The Immortal Rules, follows a newly turned vampire teen who must choose between fighting for her humanity or giving in to her new desires.

So, it doesn't sound as awful as Twilight--at least there are no sparkling/stalker vampires, right? Well, that we know of. There will probably be a love story thrown in the mix somewhere and it will most likely turn into a Twilight clone, just with different character names.

The film is still in the early stages of development so no actors or directors have been announced with the project. I should probably give it the benfit of the doubt since I haven't actually read the source material. It obviously must be good if it's being turned into a movie, right? Right?
0

Resident Evil Creator to Bring New Survival Horror Game


The gaming industry has always brought horror fans some exciting and new ideas with the releases of several different kinds of horror game titles. One of the most popular--and my favorite--horror games, which paved the way for survival horror games to follow, is Resident Evil. It's creator, Shinji Mikami, just revealed that he is currently working on developing a new survival horror game called, Zwei.

In an interview with Japense gaming magazine, Famitsu, Mikami explained that the game is in the early stages of development under his new studio, Tango Gameworks. The gaming director assures that with his newest gaming venture, fans can expect to play something containing the classical horror elements found in other popular horror games.

Mikami worked with Capcom and helped to create the original Resident Evil which was released for Playstation in 1996. He worked on several other game titles in the horror franchise and also helped to create another survival horror, Dino Crisis (loved that one too!). The father of the zombie game series eventually left Capcom after the series' 4th installment and went on to work with other companies including, Electronic Arts, and Grasshopper Manufacture.

Zwei will reportedly be the last game for Mikami before he retires from the gaming industry for good. There has been no word yet what the game will be about or when it will be released, however, the creator is on the prowl for some awesome programmers to help him with the project.

I cannot wait and hopefully it will be a game more like the original Resident Evil rather than the new multi-player shooter games like Left 4 Dead. I personally enjoy a game with a set storyline that you need to follow over an action/shooter game because it's more fun for me! And I suck at shooter games.

Are you excited for this new game project?
0

Sailing with Saw


For some reason, Twisted Pictures thought it would be an awesome idea to have a Saw-themed cruise, because it totally makes perfect sense, right? Fans of the horror franchise, which seriously has run its course and needs to stop, can join the "stars" of the films for the Saw at Sea Cruise, taking place August 11-16 onboard the Carnival Glory cruiseship! Oh em gee--where the hell do I buy my tickets?!

The high seas adventure lasts for 5 whole nights, beginning in New York and making stops in Saint John, New Brunswick and Halifax, Nova Scotia. Not only will partcipants be able to meet such big names like Costas Mandylor (Hoffman)--they will also have the amazing opportunity to take photos with the film's creepy-ass puppet! I'm sold just on that alone because I have long dreamed of the very moment I would get a photo op with THE star of the film series!

Also onboard this magical extravaganza? Some people who were killed throughout the series and Dan Yeager, who stars as Leatherface in the upcoming Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D. Woohoo!

Interested in this horrorfest? Well, you better reserve your cabin now, which will include photo sessions, private meals, parties and more! Starting rates to particpate are $779 per person. Yikes! If I'm going to pay that much money, I expect to see Tobin Bell take a shit or at least have a dance-off with Shawnee Smith, both of whom aren't even going to be apart of the cruise.

For more information on this cheesy stunt, visit SawatSea.com. And please, for the love of God, if you are going to this--you better send me pictures!

Monday, April 23, 2012

1

Forget Me Not Movie Review


By now, you think that kids in horror movies would learn not to play a trick on someone because it almost always results in horrible consequences--i.e. the person dies. Then, like clockwork, the wronged individual somehow comes back to seek revenge on the individuals who hurt them. It's a classic revenge-horror scenario that has been done countless times before. The 2009 horror, Forget Me Not, follows this overdone scenario, resulting in a bland and predictable movie not worth watching.

The boring horror opens with a young girl running through a graveyard, hysterical at something that has happened. The audience doesn't get to find out what has upset the girl because she doesn't remember and then the film flashes forward to present day where a group of high school kids, including the girl, are celebrating their graduation at a party. The group of friends is made up of one-dimensional attractive characters which are pretty much seen in every single other other movie plus a few cardboard cutouts that are placed as fillers to be killed off shortly into the film.

At the party, Sandy (the girl from the beginning) and her friends decide to play a game of tag, only their game has a twist: one person plays the "ghost" who must tag the others and make them ghosts, leaving one person to be the winner. Stupid, I know. This time their game has an additional player--a young girl who Sandy can't quite remember. The mystery girl ends up winning the game of tag and her response to her victory? She jumps off a cliff. Okay, first of all, why the hell are a group of 18 year-old kids playing a game of tag?

Anyway, Sandy obviously becomes upset, as one should in a situation like that, and informs the police who can't seem to find a body. Sandy seems to be the only one who cares about the girl's apparent suicide as everyone else goes back to their daily routine the following day. Just a dumb broad jumping off a cliff, I guess.

Following the weird girl's even weirder reaction to winning a game of tag, the supernatural occurrences start happening and mofos start dying like crazy at the hands of mysterious zombie/ghost-like creatures. Meanwhile, Sandy and her dumb boyfriend and other dumbass friends go about their bidness, preparing for their planned road trip to God-knows where. I honestly couldn't remember where they were going because I found it extremely difficult to pay attention.

So, Sandy is the only one questioning where her missing friends are because guess what? No one else remembers them. That's right; when one of the friend's is killed, they are seemingly wiped off of the Earth as if they never existed, except Sandy remembers everything. Why, you ask? I couldn't tell you.

The whole roadtrip becomes pointless because the kids never actually end up anywhere but where they started--which they were able to get back to insanely fast. It was like the writer just forgot what he was writing and had the kids just move onto something else, which made no sense to me.

When Sandy realizes what is going on, she starts remembering a cruel prank that she and her friends played on her friend, Angela, who had a seizure from playing their ghost-tag game when they were little. The girl ended up in a coma--either from the jump or from the seizure--and she has been playing the game--for real--with Sandy's friends, turning them into ghosts one by one.

Ugh, seriously? That's the big reveal? Yawn.

So, Sandy must stop Angela by killing her before midnight to release the curse and blah, blah, blah. The movie wasn't very original (clearly) and the characters weren't anyone that you could route for. Sandy just seemed like a psycho most of the time due to Carly Shroeder's overacting in every scene.

The story didn't make sense to me or excite me in anyway. I only kept watching because I wanted to see what the group of kids did to the girl when they were younger to make her seek revenge and when I found out, I wasn't shocked by their actions. So, they scared her and she had a seizure--big whoop. Last I heard, you don't go into a coma for having a seizure but maybe I'm mistaken. Either way, the whole thing was stupid. Plus, there was no nudity or ANYTHING juicy enough to make you want to keep watching.

Skip this one completely because there is absolutely nothing new or enticing for you as a viewer. It's a story that has been done before and done better than this. Unless you want to watch a bunch of attractive kids talk to each other in ways that young people don't really speak, then sure, rent this movie. Otherwise, save yourself the time and energy trying to make sense of this mess.


0

Wanna See Sam Trammell Nakey?


Oh, I so wish that I had some nude videos of that beautiful man but sadly, all I have to show you is a new clip of his True Blood character, Sam Merlotte, and his shifter girlfriend, Luna, in the newest promo for the show's upcoming 5th season, premiering June 10 on HBO.

Sam is actually my favorite character and I really hope that we'll be seeing a lot more of him and Luna this year. This new clip, which teases what's to come for the perfect pair, leads me to believe that the show will be giving me some more shifter action--and (hopefully) more naked Sam--to drool over.

Check out the newest clip below:


5

The Cohasset Snuff Film


With the ever-growing developments in technology, it is easier now more than ever for an individual to gain access to just about anything on the internet. Due to people becoming successful and somewhat famous on YouTube, many people strive to gain the same notoriety, doing whatever it may take to get noticed. The downside to this is that some people go a little bit further than they should, resulting in horrible consequences--3 guys, 1 hammer anyone?

Horror filmmaker, Edward Payson, has jumped on this idea, which goes along perfectly well with the found-footage craze, and developed The Cohasset Snuff Film, which follows a disturbed young man as he commits "real" murders on three teens in his town of Cohasset, Massachusetts (my home state, son!).

The new movie is marketed as a real video that was filmed in 2009 by 17 year-old Collin  Mason, who murdered three girls, filmed it, and then uploaded his escapades onto the internet. There aren't many details about the film, probably to make audiences believe that it's actually real, but a trailer was just recently released.

Check it out below and tell me what you think. It gives me chills because I'm sure there are crazy bastards who do commit heinous acts while simultaneously filming it, enjoying every disturbing minute of it (again, 3 guys, 1 hammer).

Friday, April 20, 2012

1

Get Read to Stay in Holliston


Finally, a show worth watching is actually given a chance before being canceled. FEARnet recently announced that it has renewed the Adam Green and Joe Lynch horror-sitcom, Holliston, for a second season, just three episodes into it's first season. The sophomore season is slated for a Summer 2013 premiere.

The show, which is completely hilarious and exactly what I've been waiting for, follows two burnout best friends who are trying to become horror directors while simultaneously trying to make ends meet with their daily lives. Holliston stars Green, Lynch, Corri English, and Laura Ortiz, who's chemistry jumps off of the screen every time that the actors are onstage together.

In response to the positive response to the series, creator, Green, told FEARnet,"We've been overjoyed by the audience's response and reactions to the show...It's amazing to watch the characters be embraced so quickly and to see fans quoting it on Twitter, Facebook and at conventions around the country.  There is something truly special happening with ‘Holliston' and the way that it has been received by fans."

Holliston, the first original program for the network, premiered on April 3 alongside another awesome horror comedy, Todd and the Book of Pure Evil, as a part of FEARnet's Twisted Comedy Block. FEARnet President and General Manager, Peter Block, praised the series stating, "Holliston resonates with both genre junkies and more mainstream comedy fans alike, making our first push into original programming a successful attempt for diversifying our schedule and showing the breadth of our audience."

He finished, "Adam Green and Joe Lynch bring to life a truly original series perfectly fit for FEARnet."

If you haven't watched the show yet you are seriously missing out because it is completely and totally made for each and every one of you. To read my review, click here, and to check out my interview Adam Green, click here.

I suddenly have the strong urge to go to Market BASKET (in my Laura Ortiz voice).

0

Fangoria's Blood & Guts to Launch on Youtube


One of the fun things about horror entertainment are the special effects that go into making all of your favorite movie monsters and bad guys. With a lack of programming dedicated to SFX, specifically in horror, it's hard for fans to really get a sense of how SFX makeup is actually done and what it takes to be a true artist. Now, thanks to Fangoria and Nerdist Industries, horror fans will soon have a show where they can have an insider's look and learn how to make projects worth putting in the movies.

Fangoria and Nerdist Industries are teaming up to bring viewers a DIY make-up series which will air on the newly launched Nerdist Channel on Youtube. The show, Fangoria's Blood & Guts with Scott Ian, will be hosted by the horror fanatic and Anthrax guitarist as he guides audiences through the magical word of special effects make-up.

Ian will introduce fans to masters of gore as they teach viewers how to create their very own horror SFX make-up. In response to his latest career venture, Ian states, "I've been neck-deep in blood and guts for the last 30 years playing in Anthrax...so I couldn't be more excited to be hosing a show called Blood & Guts, for you horror and metal fans."

The Nerdist Channel, is a YouTube original content channel which was launched on April 2, 2012, containing nerd-centric content ranging from comics, video games, movies and more. The channel includes original programming from Rob Zombie, Weird Al, and the nerdist himself, Chris Harwick.

Make sure to subscribe to The Nerdist Chanel to get all the latest updates on the upcoming series as well as other original programming from some of your favorite stars.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

5

Girls and Corpses Magazine Review


I'll admit, I immediately judged Girls and Corpses by its cover, and automatically assumed that it was a trashy magazine for perverts. While the magazine does appeal to pervy men everywhere, it is also filled with a ton of fun stuff spanning from hot girls, comedy, horror, comics and more, making it the perfect read for anyone with a love for several genres rolled up into one.

There are a few different horror magazines to choose from in the industry, ranging from Fangoria to Rue Morgue, which mostly focus on horror entertainment news. The biggest difference with Girls and Corpses magazine is that it covers more than just horror movies and TV, rather, it provides a much wider spectrum for readers to choose from. 

The best way that I can describe the magazine is by comparing it to Playboy...for necrophiliacs. Every article is lighthearted and fun while also maintaining the hovering morbid sensibility. The racy magazine takes its readers around the spectrum with things like trips to super expensive cemetery's where only the rich are buried, showcases Gothic photography and similar art, includes sexy photo-shoots with scantily clad women with a rotting corpse, and includes humorous and morbid comics that can't be found anywhere else!

Girls and Corpses does include interviews and covers the usual upcoming horror film but it also gets creative and does exposé's on things like professional embalming and the grave site of Edgar Allan Poe. So many different things can be found to satiate your horror entertainment appetite as well as your lust for good looking corpses.


Clearly, the magazine doesn't take itself seriously and everything that it does is done all in fun. So, if you ever get bored with reading your typical horror magazine, pick up a copy of Girls and Corpses magazine and escape to a land where sleeping and playing with dead bodies is perfectly fine.
1

John Hawkes is a Moron


By now fans of the hit zombie series, The Walking Dead, know that British actor, David Morrissey, is set to play the evil and controlling Governor in the next season of the AMC drama. What many of you probably don't know is that the badass role could have gone to John Hawkes (Martha Marcy May Marlene, Winter's Bone), who passed on the job. Seriously?

Hawkes is known for the gritty and dark roles that he has portrayed in the past, which would make him the perfect fit for the infamous Governor, however, the actor felt as though he wasn't right for the series. In an interview with Movie Web, Hawkes explains his decision to turn down the role that eventually went to Morrissey.

The creepy and insanely skinny Hawkes told the site,"They offered me the role, and I just felt there would be someone else who could do it better...I was flattered, and I took a look at the series. It held interest for me, but I just didn’t feel like I was the guy for it. I have to be careful of what TV shows I choose, particularly ones that have commercials in them, because it’s going to be a different kind of television show. There are going to be sponsors. No matter how good the show is, if there are commercials, it’s going to be a different show, to me. That’s just my personal feeling. Yeah, it was nice of them to ask, and it’s a good show, but, again, I just didn’t feel I was the guy. They came to me and sent me the graphic novel and the first two seasons. I took a look at them, and just didn’t feel like it was for me.”

I'm not really sure what he has against commercials or sponsors--maybe it's because he wants to stay  true to his Indie roots? What I don't get is this: the guy has a supporting role on HBO's Eastbound and Down, which totally does nothing for his indie cred so, what was wrong with portraying an awesome role on AMC?

Whatever, man. If you're too cool to play an awesome character on an awesome television series then go ahead and turn it down. We didn't want to see you in it anyway. Now, I am only more excited to see what Morrissey brings to the table--at least he seems grateful for the opportunity. 
0

Get Ready to Go Back to Silent Hill


Silent Hill has always been a terrifying video game series and it was turned into a decent film of the same name in 2006. The horror movie perfectly captured the eery and daunting atmosphere that was created in the games and this Halloween, audiences can expect to take a trip back to the unfortunate town when Silent Hill: Revelation 3D hits theaters October 26, 2012!

Open Road films has picked up the distribution rights to the horror sequel, planning on releasing it a week after Paranormal Activity 4. The company hopes that the release near Halloween will draw in more crowds looking for a scare. Gee, 'ya think?

The first film, released by Sony's Tri-Star Pictures, made an estimated 97.6 million worldwide and starred Rahda Mitchell as a woman searching for her missing daughter and Sean Bean as her distraught husband. Revelations will follow Heather Mason who discovers that she is not who she thinks she is, on the eve of her 18th birthday. The revelation brings her to an alternate dimension existing in the town of Silent Hill.

Revelation will also star Sean Bean, Radha Mitchell, Kit Harrington, Carrie-Ann Moss, Malcolm McDowell, and Adelaide Clemens.
1

Silent Night Finds its Scream Queen


Growing up thriving off of horror films, I've always had a fascination with the scream queen role seen throughout, resulting in my desire to one day become one of the girls who fights for her life against baddies like Freddy, Jason, and Michael. Although my dream may never come true, actress, Jaime King, has clearly found her niche as the "final girl" in horror, most recently landing a role in Steven C. Miller's horror, Silent Night.

The blonde beauty will star alongside Malcolm McDowell as his Deputy, Aubrey Bradimore, who helps to battle the killer Santa terrorizing a small Midwestern Town. The Steven C. Miller film is a re-imagining of the 1984 horror classic, Silent Night, Deadly Night.

Silent Night will also star, Donal Logue (Shark Night), Brendan Fehr (Roswell--Yay for him!), Lisa Marie (Sleepy Hollow), and Ellen Wong (Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World). The horror remake is being distributed by Anchor Bay Films and Inferno Entertainment's Ember Label.

I love Jaime King and think that she is perfectly suited for the horror remake. She is clearly no stranger to remakes, starring in films such as My Bloody Valentine 3D and Mother's Day, and I think that she will do her character and the film justice.

What do you think about this casting news? Do you like King?
0

AHS Goes to the Nut House


What would make the provocative and creepy FX series, American Horror Story, even better? Placing all of its characters in an insane asylum for its second season. The show's co-creator, Ryan Murphy, recently revealed some major details regarding the hit show's sophomore year, which will take place in a completely different era than season one.

During a panel at the TV Academy in North Hollywood on April 18, Murphy explained that the second season of AHS will take place at an East Coast institution for the criminally insane and will be run by Jessica Lange's character. Murphy also revealed the show's time period, stating, "It's a completely different world and has nothing to do with Season 1; there's not a mention of Season 1...The second season is set in a completely different time period."

As for the cast, Murphy alluded to the idea of seeing more familiar faces from the show's debut season, explaining that some people will be back and have not been announced yet. The creator stated, "The idea is to work with actors that you love and are excited by. The second season, everybody who was announced, there will be other people up on this stage who are not announced who will also be in it but are playing the polar opposite of what they were in the first season in every way."

The rest of the individuals in attendance with Murphy on Wednesday included, Connie Britton (Vivienne), Dylan McDermott (Ben), Dennis O'Hare (Larry), Evan Peters (Tate), Zachary Quinto (Chad), Jessica Lange (Constance), Lily Rabe (Nora), and the show's other creator, Brad Falchuk.

Maybe there is hope that Britton and McDermott will return after all! I really hope that they make an appearance because I really enjoy both actors, especially Britton who has been my favorite since she played Tammy Taylor on Friday Night Lights.

Murphy went on to describe Adam Levine and his involvement with the upcoming season, explaining that the musician immediately jumped aboard when he heard about the role.

I cannot wait. There are so many possibilities and so many things that the show's creators and writers can go with at a insane asylum, which was exactly where I was hoping the season would take place. Are you excited about season 2?

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

4

Cabin in the Woods Movie Review


I am still trying to make my massive nerd erection go down after seeing Cabin in the Woods over the weekend (should I go to the doctors for that?). The film, which is presented as a typical slasher-horror, is actually a lot different than audiences may have expected, resulting in one of the best horror satire's since Scream. Die-hard horror fans definitely will not be disappointed while others who aren't uber fans of the genre may have left the film scratching their heads.

The film follows the typical slasher-in-the-woods horror formula, including the generic set of usual characters and cheesy horror storyline. However, the film is far from your mom's campy horror movie because there's a twist: the group of kids is being "controlled" by a corporation who is watching their every move.

Cabin in the Woods takes us along the ride of five college buddies who are taking a trip into the woods for the weekend. The group of friends is made up of the usual suspects: the jock (Chris Hemsworth--looking mighty fine), the slut (Anna Huchison), the nerd (Jesse Williams), the good girl (Kristen Connolly), and of course, what would a campy horror be without the stoner (Fran Kranz)?

As the kids venture toward their destination the audience simultaneously gets to see the big bad corporation working behind the scenario, helping the friends make certain decisions along the way. At this point, we are still unaware of what's going on exactly, but we know that whatever is happening--it's going to be bad.

Eventually, after all of the partying and fun, the cellar door whips open and the kids make their way down into the darkness. Once they are beneath the cabin, there are several different things for them to play with, and unbeknownst to them, whatever object they choose will inevitably be the thing that brings them to their end. Once their fate is sealed, the film really picks up and doesn't stop until the very last frame.

On the outside, the film looks like a regular horror film that we've seen a million times--because it is. Writers, Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard, used all of the elements that genre fans can't seem to escape and pretty much made fun of them. The corporation behind the entire situation are essentially making a horror film, following recycled scenarios that have been done countless times before. Every move that the characters make, including the stupid decisions that endanger their lives, is meticulously calculated by the corporation, who basically represent the filmmakers who produce the horror we are so used to seeing.

The film is smart and brilliant in the sense that it's totally self-aware and self-deprecating, without being too disrespectful to the genre. Although the film does keep you on the edge of your seat with tension, it simultaneously makes you laugh at the message behind the movie.

The last half of the film seriously had me in awe, my jaw dropped to the floor and my eyes were bulging from my head. It's hard to review the film without giving too much away but all I can say is this: you will totally get a nerd boner, just like I did, when your eyes feast upon the massive amounts of awesomeness that overwhelmingly fills the screen.

As a horror fan, I completely understood everything that the movie represented and I could fathom the message that Whedon and Goddard were trying to get across. However, I don't think viewers who don't live and breath horror will really grasp the film fully or like the overall product. Because they are stupid. Just kidding...sort of.

Cabin is getting a lot of comparisons to Scream but in my opinion, I think that it is far smarter and better executed than its predecessor. Yes, both films are satire's on the genre, but Cabin goes a little bit further than Scream and gets a whole lot more creative. Merman, anyone?!

If you haven't seen the film yet, don't read or listen to what anyone else says about it because it will completely spoil it for you. I went into the movie not knowing too much, because I didn't want to know, and it was an unbelievably refreshing experience. I had no idea what was going on at first but when it started to come to me, I was pleasantly surprised. Go see the movie and decide for yourself but I can guarantee that you will not be disappointed.

Now, if you will excuse me, I must go take care of my husband's bulge.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

1

Will Someone Kill Stephen King This Saturday?


What better way to pay homage to author, Stephen King, than to make a horror-comedy that revolves around him and all of his work? The campfest, You Can't Kill Stephen King, will premiere at Lewiston Auburn Film Festival this Saturday, April 14, in King's homestate of Maine. No word on whether or not the master of horror and suspense will actually show up but why wouldn't he if he was invited?

You Can't Kill Stephen King follows six stereotypical characters often found in slasher films and throws them in King's hometown, where they suddenly start dying in ways that King's characters did in his books.

Check out the hilarious trailer below:


1

AHS Gets Frenched


Since the captivating psycho-sexual drama, American Horror Story, made it's debut on FX last year, I'm sure everyone and their mom has been dying for a role in the show's second season. Even people outside of Hollywood are fighting for a part in the provocative series and French actress, Lizzie Brocheré, has just been cast as Gia, the arch rival to Jessica Lange's character.

TV Line reports that the French beauty (who totally looks like Bijou Phillipps), mostly known for her NC-17 film work, has won the reoccurring role that is described as Angelina Jolie's character in Girl, Interrupted--i.e. super sexual, disturbing, and dangerous. Since Brocheré has gotten the role, the show's creator, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of the AHS team have been working on ways to revamp her character.

The French actress will join Lange, Zachary Quinto, Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Lily Rabe, and Maroon 5 frontman, Adam Levine, in the second season which is said to take place at an East Coast horror institution. Levine will have a story arc where he plays part of a duo known as "The Lovers."

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

1

Skew: Movie Review


Road trips. They suck, right? You're trapped in a confined space for hours, forced to take in the disgusting aromas that your carmates give off, and you have to hold your pee for long periods of time. That's a nightmare in itself for me (I'm a girl--I pee A LOT). Just imagine that awful scenario but with an added evil camera to make the situation a hell of a lot worse. Director Sevé Schelenz cleverly uses the "found-footage" technique to deliver a creepy horror, Skew, a film about friendships and terrifying coincidences.

The film, which the director describes as a point-of-view film rather than found-footage, opens with our three main characters readying themselves for a road trip to a friend's wedding. Simon is the man behind the camera and the audience mostly sees the horror through his eyes, so to speak, and through his reactions as he begins to witness strange occurrences.

As the road trip progresses, we get to learn more about the characters and get a good sense of who they are once they must deal with the terrifying circumstances occurring around them. The movie slowly builds up the tension, casually showing the audience certain things without exactly explaining them, so that you feel just as confused as Simon and the rest of the characters are.

The film also gives an explanation as to why the character is filming everything, and it also gives reason to why he continues to film everything despite the dangerous activity that's happening around him and his friends. The camera is sort of like a lifeline, or a death sentence, and it becomes the characters "safety blanket" as he totes it around with him through the rest of the film. It's a necessary device that is needed in order to move further in their destination.

The idea behind the story was creative and unique, using the one thing that the audience has as eyes and making it the evil behind the film. Director Schelenz doesn't rely on heavy gore or over-the-top scenes to relay his message, rather he relies on the interactions between his characters and their reactions to the situation.

The ending is a little obscure and although I know the actual reasoning behind it (the director told me), I still feel like it can be interpreted whichever way the audience would like. The story mainly revolves around Simon and his feelings and even though we do not get to see his face, the audience does learn a lot about him through the things that he says and through his actions with his camera.

For a low budget "found-footage" horror, I think that it did fairly well on delivering something unique that horror fans would enjoy. It is very hard to make a creative found footage film, especially now, when there are so many of them and there aren't many options for things that you can do with them. My only gripe with the film was some of the acting, particularly the character of Richard. However, I didn't find the acting to be so incredibly bad that it took away from the film entirely.

I recommend Skew to horror fans who are looking for a different take on the found-footage subgenre, and are looking for a film that will prompt them to ask questions. If you don't like abrupt or seemingly unanswered endings, you may be slightly angry with the film but the slow build-up of events and tensions make for a watchable treat.

To read more about the film and its director, check out my interview with Sevé Schelenz here.
1

Ti West is Gonna Make the BedBugs Bite


It can happen to anyone. You're lying in bed, relaxed and vulnerable, until you feel your skin start to itch. Pretty soon you realize that your bed is infested with a disgusting and almost unstoppable creature--bedbugs. Now, imagine the horror intensify when the situation starts to make you question your sanity--are you really being attacked by bedbugs or are you just losing your damn mind? That's the scenario in the upcoming horror, BedBugs, based off of the bestselling novel by Ben H. Winter's. The film's rights were just sold to Tango Pictures and Ti West has been chosen to helm the script.

Deadline reports of the recent deal which is still in the early stages of development. The book tells the story of the Wendt family who move into a new home in Brooklyn and begin to experience strange things. One of the family members begins to experience what she believes to be bedbug bites (say that 5 times fast) but when she notices that she's the only one receiving the bites, she fears that she may be going crazy.

Jason Rekulak of Quirk Books, who originally published the novel, stated, "Reading Bedbugs as a manuscript felt like the literary equivalent of a Ti West horror movie—a slow-burning supernatural story with fully realized characters, light on gore but heavy on menace and dread.”

Reading the synopsis of the upcoming film and the book it is based on literally makes me start to itch. I absolutely DESPISE insects, mostly roaches, spiders, and centipedes (those bastards move like hell) because they're disgusting and they can bother you at any moment, when you're least expecting it. Plus, they don't give a damn about your feelings on the situation. They will crawl right up into your ear and/or mouth while you sleep and there's nothing you can do about it.

When there was the recent "bedbug scare" happening everywhere, I was terrified I would somehow get them--I even feared receiving packages that may somehow bring bedbugs into my home (that can happen). So, the fact that the story plays on a real life fear, a fear of becoming infested and unable to live in your own home, already sells me as a horror fan. Horror that is based on situations that can actually happen is ten times more terrifying than a boogeyman hiding under your bed.

The premise sounds like it will make for a terrifying film and I know that it will be written brilliantly if West is behind the script. Now, I'm debating whether or not I want to read the book because I know if I will, I will most definitely become paranoid and cover my room in cellophane.
5

Suspiria Remake On the Way


I bet when you first watched Pineapple Express high off your ass, the first thing you thought was, "Hey, whoever made this movie would probably make a really great remake of Suspiria." Or maybe you didn't. It doesn't really matter whether you thought that or not because either way, the film's writer, David Gordon Green, is set to direct the remake of the 1977 Dario Argento classic.

Deadline reports that Green, along with scriptwriter Chris Gebert, are finally moving forward with the project and are currently looking for the lead actress to play protagonist, Suzie. The remake, produced by Crime Scene Pictures, is being financed by Adam Ripp, Rob Paris, Francesco Melzi d'Eril from Memo Films and Luca Guadagnino.

Crime Scene partners Ripp and Paris released a statement saying, "We love the style and energy of the original film – and David’s script brilliantly updates the world, presenting a rare opportunity to create an elegant, classic horror film."

The original film follows an American student who travels to Europe to attend a prestigious dance academy only to find that it is a front for something much more sinister.Production on the film will begin in September.

It was just months earlier that Green feared the film would never be made due to the rise in low-budget horror films seemingly taking over Hollywood as of late. The writer-turned-director had doubts that he would be able to find someone to help finance the film but it looks like he lucked out, now didn't he?

What do you think of a Suspiria remake? Are you excited or are you pissed? I'm ashamed to say I still haven't seen the original (I know, I have sinned) so I don't have many thoughts on the upcoming film.

Monday, April 9, 2012

3

Shark Night Movie Review


What's the longest running and most popular "reality show" in the world? According to Shark Night, it's Shark Week, which technically isn't a reality show, rather a week of different shows, but I get what they were saying. Hmm, now how could a group of hillbilly rednecks produce a show as popular as shark week and make tons of money off of it? Simple: capture sharks from a flood and let them loose in a salt water lake so you can film them killing off locals one by one. That's the premise for the horror film and it's totally believable. Not.

From the initial previews of Shark Night, which was released in 3D, I immediately knew that the film wasn't going to be a masterpiece but I thought that I would have fun watching it in all of its ridiculous glory. Except, it was way worse and corny than I had imagined and I found myself laughing, not with it--but at it.

The film follows a group of college kids who go on a weekend getaway at a lake house in Louisiana. In the group we've got the stereotypical Latina, the token black dude, the nerdy but insanely attractive loverboy, the promiscuous one, the pretty boy, the girl of everyone's dreams, and the dude who looks like he's friggin 40 years old and should totally be graduated from college already. Throw in some sharks and we should have a pretty awesome movie, right?

Anyway, the party starts right away with the kids taking the boat out on the lake to do some water skiing when--UH OH--there's something in the water. The token black guy gets his arm bitten off, but manages to swim back to shore, freaking the hell out of the rest of the gang. Hysteria ensues once the loverboy jumps in the water to rescue the arm (wouldn't it have been eaten and in the shark's belly?) and discovers a big ass shark lurking in the water. OH NO, what ever are they going to do?

Right away you should be saying to yourself: Ok, they've got a phone, they've got a boat--there is plenty they can do to survive! But wait, their cells don't have service (how convenient) and there's no house phone. OH and the drunken sheriff is too busy messing around to see the flares that they shot into the sky. They're totally screwed, eh? At least there's still the boat.

So the kids jump into the boat to take the injured black guy to the hospital and somehow, even though his arm is all bandaged and whatnot, he lets his blood drip into a drain and off the boat, letting the hungry shark trail them. But a shark can't out-swim the boat, so they should be fine. Wrong. The shark hits the boat, knocks off the Latina and she gets eaten. Then, somehow the boat malfunctions and they drive it into a dock, causing a HUGE explosion that no one off shore seems to notice--not even the local police.

From here, the movie only gets more ridiculous with the appearance of the ever-so-common crazy hillbilly locals who are up to no good--and one happens to be pretty good looking and always without a shirt. Hmm, I don't think real hillbilly locals look that attractive in real life. If so, I want me a hillbilly local. Throw in the awful acting, a scene where two guys--one with a missing arm AND A SPEAR--hold down a hammerhead shark and kill it, plus the unbelievable twist explaining the situation and you have yourself an awful shark movie.

The movie could have been an entertaining campfest, if it was intentionally trying to be that way, but I'm pretty sure that the film took itself completely seriously. How the hell do you take yourself seriously when you're making a movie about a bunch of sharks living in a friggin lake, with cameras strapped to their bodies no less. How are the people of the town missing all of this commotion?!

There were so many scenes that caused me to shake my head in shame--a shark outsmarts a human by somehow managing to swim ahead of his jetski and then proceeds to jump out of the water, head on, to take him out? I'm sorry, but really?

I did enjoy when the hillbillies were explaining the amount of different species of shark (some number in the 300's) however, the film failed to utilize this bit of information by only including a few species, most of which we already have seen before in other shark films. The most entertaining part of the film was the introduction to the "cookie cutter" shark, which was something I wasn't aware of before the film. However, other than that, it was just bad.

Not even the adorable and bikini-clad Sara Paxton could save this shark movie, which even copied the iconic introduction to Jaws. Skip this one, unless you're smoking weed one night and have a 3D TV to actually enjoy the movie for the full effect.
1

A Horny Christian Slater Coming to Your Home May 8th


Talk about false advertising. Back in February I reviewed the horror, Playback, which I was initially excited about watching due to star, Christian Slater. My review (which you can read here) wasn't exactly a positive one, mostly due to my frustration over a lack of Slater. Now, the "found-footage"-style horror is coming to DVD on May 8th and the box cover would have you to believe that the sexy Mr. Slater has a big part in the film. HE DOESN'T.

Although I had a lot of anger toward the film and it's God-awful lap dance scene from hell (PLEASE JUST HAVE SEX WITH CHRISTIAN SLATER...oh wait, you're not going to? BONER DOWN), I suggested that horror lovers give the movie a chance once it comes to DVD--just don't have any high expectations.

The movie isn't completely original but I found it bearable to watch, until my favorite character was killed (spoiler alert? who cares). Magnet released a statement detailing the films upcoming DVD release, saying, "On May 8th get ready to venture to your voyeuristic side when Magnolia Home Entertainment releases Playback under the Magnet Label on Blu-ray and DVD. Based on the prequel novella, “Playback: Light and Shadow,” the “original and entertaining piece” (Gashe.com) features Christian Slater (Bobby, Very Bad Things), Johnny Pacar (Wild Child, Discovery Kids’ “Flight 29 Down), Toby Hemingway (Black Swan, Feast of Love), and Amber Childers (“All My Children”).

Hmmm, really? The only acting credit they had for Slater was Very Bad Things? How about HEATHERS or PUMP UP THE VOLUME, BROKEN ARROW, HARD RAIN....UNTAMED FRIGGIN HEART? Oh, here I go again, ranting on about that beautiful man with those amazing brows (I'm not crazy--I swear). It just really angers me that even the press release states Christian Slater first, as if he's the main star of the film, when he only appears in about two scenes!

Anyway, if you care, and you probably don't, the film will hit shelves on DVD and Blu-ray May 8th. What did you think of Playback?


0

Steve Niles' Remains Coming to DVD


It's such a tease to see previews for the horror network, Chiller, because my cable provider doesn't carry the channel and I can never enjoy its programming. I was particularly bummed when the Zombie-Casino movie, Steve Niles' Remains, originally aired and I was unable to watch it. Now, thanks to Shout! Factory, I will be able to absorb all of the film's zombie shenanigans, good or bad, when it arrives on DVD, uncut, on July 10, 2012.

The entertainment company released a statement detailing their newest release, stating, "On July 10, 2012, Shout! Factory will unleash the UNCUT edition Blu-ray and DVD of Steve Niles’ REMAINS, jam-packed with special bonus content that includes audio commentary, the short film prequel Remains: Road to Reno, bloopers, trailers, Comic-Con teaser, and more! A must have for horror movie fans and zombiephiles, Steve Niles’ REMAINS uncut edition Blu-ray is priced to own at $22.99 SRP; the DVD has a suggested retail price of $14.93."

Remains was the first made-for-TV movie for Chiller, originally airing back in December. The film is based on the wildly successful graphic novel written by Niles that details the fight for survival between a group of survivors in a post-apocalyptic Reno, Nevada. The horror stars, Grant Bowler, Lance Reddick, Miko Hughes, Evalena Marie, Tawny Cypress and Anthony Marks.

I can't wait to finally get my chance to actually watch the film and soak up the zombie fun. Have you seen Remains and if so, what did you think?

Thursday, April 5, 2012

3

Remake of Silent Night, Deadly Night


The thought of a strange, bearded, overweight man basically intruding people's homes every year to bring their children "presents" actually sounds scary now that I think about it as an adult. It only makes sense that the story of Santa would be made into a horror for fans to devour and for children to fear the jolliest of holidays. Now the 1984 horror classic, Silent Night, Deadly Night, is being resurrected by Anchor Bay who just purchased the rights to the film.

Variety reports that Anchor Bay has purchased North American rights to the Christmas-Horror remake, Silent Night, a film loosely based on Silent Night, Deadly Night. The reboot will star Malcolm McDowell (Halloween, A Clockwork Orange) as a local sheriff trying to save the day.

The film will be directed by Steven C. Miller while the script will be overseen by executive producer, Jayson Rothwell.The horror tells the story of a local police station trying to capture a killer Santa Clause terrorizing their small town on Christmas Eve. The production team hopes to have the film ready by next holiday season.

It sounds like McDowell will have a starring role in this film as opposed to a supporting role that he is cast in often, and that makes me EXTREMELY happy. I love McDowell and even though he has starred in some crappy movies as of late, he's usually the best thing about every movie I've seen him in. And plus, I have a slight crush on him since I met him about two years ago.

Are you excited for this remake?

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

2

My Love Letter to Todd & The Book of Pure Evil


I think that if my high school was experiencing supernatural occurrences caused by a book of pure evil on a daily basis, I probably would have enjoyed going there more. Especially if there was a gang of kids like Todd, Curtis, Hanna and Jenny running around trying fix the problem. Over the past weekend I was introduced to the Canadian horror-comedy series, Todd and the Book of Pure Evil, and immediately fell in love. The show is a perfect mixture of teen comedy and horror camp, enough to satiate the appetite of any horror fan.

The series, created in 2010, follows a group of four teens as they investigate strange happenings around their school in an effort to find a book of pure evil, which feeds off of the insecurities of the student body. The show was just recently brought to the US where it airs every Tuesday at 10pm on FEARnet.

In the pilot episode, audiences are introduced to Crowley High resident stoner, Todd, and his handicapped best friend, Curtis, as the two attempt and fail at making it into the battle of the bands. Not only are Todd's dreams of becoming a famous rock star impossible, his undying love for Crowley's princess of darkness, Jenny, is useless because she doesn't even know he exists.

However, after Todd uses the book of pure evil and puts the school in danger, the two quickly become acquainted with one another and eventually end up working together on a mission to retrieve the book, which has a habit of flying away. Eventually, the intelligent and logical Hanna joins Todd, Curtis and Jenny and the gang works together to find answers about the mysterious evil book.

Each week the book lands in the hands of an impressionable and fragile student with desires that the book can make a reality. The only catch is that once the book is used, it has evil repercussions on the rest of the students at the school. Hilarity ensues as the group of friends are always seemingly oblivious to the obvious scenarios happening around them.

The show started off slow but eventually got into a good stride, providing laughs, gore, and at times, heartfelt moments. The group of friends are very likeable and make you wish that they were students at your school in which you could befriend. The standout of the series is the Satanist/guidance counselor, Atticus, who is always awkwardly lurking around in effort to find the book for his own sinister reasons.

Todd and the Book of Pure Evil definitely doesn't take itself seriously, which is why it works so perfectly well. The scenarios that the book creates each week are completely engrossing to watch and it's even more entertaining to see how the group is going to solve the problem. More often than not, the group doesn't really actually help the situation much, rather the book user usually ends up dead. But in the land of Crowley high, that is to be expected.

The show is definitely a fun and light-hearted comedy horror series worth giving a watch. It's a half-hour show so the episodes move fairly quickly, which makes it a little easier for you to get into. Plus, there's always a "will they, or won't they" question when it comes to Todd and Jenny, who's relationship is addictive to watch. C'mon Jenny, just make-out with him already!

I highly recommend the show and suggest that you don't go into it with serious expectations. It's a fun series where you can forget about your problems and actually be a kid again back in high school.
0

Pinhead to Come to the Small Screen


Horror seems to really be taking over the small screen as of late with new horror programming being produced like hot cakes. Now, a Hellraiser series can be added to the list of upcoming horror shows making their way into audience's living rooms.

According to Variety, Sonar Entertainment is currently developing a Hellraiser series along with Eric Gardner's Panacea Entertainment and executive producer, Larry Kuppin, whose company, New World Entertainment, was a part of the first two Hellraiser films.

Sonar Entertainment also released a statement, "One of the most successful (and terrifying) franchises in film history is ready for its weekly television debut...Now, for the first time, a weekly series set in the fantastic realm of Hellraiser will thrill audiences worldwide."

The series is currently in pre-production so there is no word on a network or who will star as the infamous Pinhead. The 1987 Hellraiser film followed the story of a puzzle box and the evil realm it released once it was solved. 


I don't know what network the producers are going to aim for but considering the gruesome and grotesque nature of the original films, it would have to be HBO, Showtime, or Starz, if the series wants to showcase the brutality of its source material.


Are you excited about a possible Hellraiser television show?

Monday, April 2, 2012

3

The Boogeyman Finds a New Home


Donald Pleasence is probably rolling around in his grave right about now. After Rob Zombie's successful reboots of the Halloween series, there have been talks about a 3rd film to be done in 3D (yikes). Now, the classic white-faced stalker may be leaving his beloved home of Dimension Films behind for Platinum Dunes.

Bloody-Disgusting reports that negotiations are close to closing on a deal that would give Platinum Dunes the rights to the Halloween franchise, which will essentially change any plans that the third remake had made. With Dunes behind the film, the movie will no longer be in 3D (thank God) or in found-footage form (thank you). However, the project will also move away from horror favorites, Todd Farmer and Patrick Lussier, as director and writer of the upcoming movie.

Platinum Dunes is behind several other remakes of horror classics such as, The Amityville Horror, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Friday the 13th. As long as the film doesn't turn into the reboots of Nightmare and Friday, I'll probably be happy.

Am I the only one who enjoyed Zombie's reboots? I think that people are way too hard on him and the films were done really well. I think that the first one was a lot better than the second because we got to see how Michael came to be the monster he is but the second one had too many dream sequences. However, I think that Zombie made Michael even more badass and vicious than he was in the original films.

What do you think about the third Halloween remake?


0

I Want to Suck Your...True Blood!


Summer is quickly approaching kiddies and you know what that means? A new season of the vampire sexcapades, True Blood, is just around the corner! Last night, before the Game of Thrones premiere, HBO released a little teaser of the addictive supernatural series, enough to make your mouths wet and  beg for more.

The promo shows us glimpses of what we can expect in the next season with the voice of the Authority, led by Christopher Meloni, guiding us through the 30 second clip. I can't really remember much of what happened last season but I'm pumped for Season 5 which looks like it's going to be a little darker and more awesome than the last. Plus, I can't wait to see the gorgeous men on the series get nakey.

Check out the Season 5 clip below:

0

Grimm Love Movie Review


Have you ever been so lonely and depressed to the point where you've wanted to consume another person's flesh? Yeah, me neither. But in the psychological horror, Grimm Love, starring Keri Russell, two German men contact each other for that very purpose. The 2006 film is terrifying because its disgusting premise is actually based on a real life crime that occurred in Germany in 2001. Remind me never to go to Germany.

The horror, which was a part of Fangoria's 2006 Fright Fest, follows college student, Katie (Russell), as she researches the notorious cannibal, Oliver Hartwin, and his willing victim, Simon Grombeck. Katie becomes increasingly obsessed as she studies the infamous cannibal murder-case while she's attending school in the pair's homeland of Germany.

The film brings the audience back to the very beginning of the lives of both men respectively, showcasing just how the pair became influenced by their families and the way that they were brought up. The willing victim, Simon, realized he was gay at a very young age and when his mother discovered his secret, she took her life. From that moment forward, Simon always felt responsible for his mother's death and grew up being ashamed of the man he was, despite finding love in his boyfriend, Felix.

Just a few towns over was the reclusive Oliver who seemed to be left by just about everyone, besides his psychotic mother. Oliver's only friend was imaginary and while he wasn't playing with him or being bullied by his classmates, he was developing a creepy fascination with flesh while spying on local butchers at work. On top of his already fragile state of mind, Oliver's mother played on his guilt and sympathy by making him feel like he had to take care of her, essentially making him terrified of ever moving forward with his life and leaving her behind.

Both boys grew up to be very unhappy later in life mostly due to their mommy issues. Mother's are always the root of the problem behind all serial killers and sociopaths--did you ever notice that? Charles Manson became the man he was due to his whore mother never loving him and Ed Gein's mother professed the evils of women and sex to him so much that he ended up hating them enough to wear their skin. So, be careful how you raise your kids ladies...you could be dealing with a future serial killer.

As the film tells the story of how both men came to be, Katie is still investigating for her thesis paper and she even visits the home of Oliver, where the murders took place. Katie finds herself being sucked in deeper into the story, wanting to learn more about their relationship with each other and how it came to end.

The two crazy bastards fatefully meet on a website designed for Cannibals (Oh, how friggin romantic) where Oliver posts an ad for a young male who is willing to be eaten. The sick post receives tons of replies from sadistic and perverted young men who get off on the idea of eating flesh or being eaten. Oliver sets up his home to actually butcher a human and his first participant backs out at the last minute.

Then, the sexually ashamed Simon, who also has a morbid fascination with flesh and dismemberment, replies to Oliver, even sending a photo along with it. After a few pleasurable messages back and forth, the pair agree to meet and perform the deed, with Simon adamant about having his penis cut off. I'm seriously getting grossed out even as I write this. Yuck.

The two men meet and go back to Oliver's childhood home and Simon fills himself up with sleeping pills, coughing syrup, and alcohol to sedate him for the procedure. Um, I'm sorry but that's only going to make you drowsy and sleepy. If you don't want to feel the pain, which makes no sense because isn't that the point, then why not use an anesthetic to the area? UGH!

So, after Simon becomes sleepy the pair get on with their agenda, which now involves Oliver recording the situation so that he can remember it like "a wedding day". Creepy bastard. The scenes that follow don't really show much rather it makes you cringe at the thought of what is supposed to be happening as Simon screams in agony.

After Oliver removes Simon's penis, the pair feast on it together. Yummy. All of this is shown to us through the video recording of the incident which Katie receives and decides to watch to further her research. However, by watching it she becomes upset and realizes how messed up the men and the situation truly are.

The movie was super creepy, dark, and really sad when you realize that the story really happened. It's depressing to think that two people could be so messed up from the way that they were raised and treated to the point where they would commit such heinous acts with one another. I couldn't possibly understand why someone like Simon would even volunteer to be eaten, no matter how ashamed of his sexuality he was. Does no one ever think of trying therapy or medication?!

The film is based on the 2001 case of Armin Meiwes who met his willing victim on a website called, Cannibal Cafe. The pair met on March 9 and carried out the acts depicted in the film, recording and all. The videotape of the scenario actually exists, showcasing the two dining on the victim's penis together at the dinner table. GROSS.

I think that the film is a decent study of the human mind and what goes wrong in certain instances, however, I felt like the beginning of their lives could have been expanded more. I just don't understand why Oliver became so obsessed with consuming human flesh. He doesn't have any friends other than his mother, so what? Why the hell did that make him a cannibalistic weirdo? He did have a weird fascination with watching pigs get butchered but the film didn't delve deeper into that scenario. There should have been more examples or further explanation for why he was obsessed with flesh and why it gave him sexual satisfaction.

Simon hated himself and he hated who he was, which was why he wanted to rid his body of the thing that essentially killed his mother. He was never happy with himself and he didn't want people to know what he was. I just don't understand how he became fascinated with cannibalism and death. He never exhibited any of that fascination in his childhood, at least, they didn't show us that. If he wasn't happy with his penis then why not have a friggin sex change?! I don't get it.

Other than the lack of development or reasoning behind the pair's creepy obsessions, the film did a good job of building up the sense of dread. We knew right away what happened to the pair but we weren't shown what happened until the very end. It was a very slow process and I found that it worked well to make me terrified of what was going to happen.

The film isn't super great and the topic is a little hard to watch, but it's an insanely interesting and sad story to follow. I think it's definitely worth a watch because it's a horror about real people who were seemingly normal, other than their cannibalistic desires, who happened to take their problems too far. The thing that makes it more terrifying is how nice and almost harmless Oliver was presented, until he cut up and devoured Simon, of course. But it was all out of love!



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