Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Worst Dressed in Horror


Award season may be over, but that won't stop Zena (of Real Queen of Horror) and I from handing out fashion fines and arrests in the horror world. We've already rewarded some of the best dressed in horror, and now it's time for us to count down some of the worst.

You may recognize many on this list for being heavyweights in the horror game. While having an outfit that is iconic and mainstream is great for their characters, it doesn't necessarily make them well dressed. We risk our lives and poke fun at the fashion sense of some of the biggest monsters in the genre.

Who would make your worst dressed list?

The Worst:

Freddy Krueger (A Nightmare on Elm Street)

Amanda: Don't get me wrong: I'm a Freddy girl, I've always been a Freddy girl, and I'll always be a Freddy girl. But, the green and red sweater makes him look more like a drunk uncle at the family holiday party instead of the vicious psychopathic killer that he truly is. Clearly his outfit has worked for him throughout the years, and he wears a fedora well. However, that doesn't make the outfit any less ugly.

Zena: Wearing a dirty Christmas sweater with holes (even though it's no where near Christmas) isn't something we all like to see. Mr. Krueger, do us all a favor: if you insist on wearing funky, sweat-infested sweaters…wash them; or better yet, take them to the cleaners. Perhaps they could fix those holes that seem unfixable. Those scissor hands are pretty creative, but not quite fashionable. I'll let you slide for the fedora because I'm actually a fan…at least you got that right!

Leatherface (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

Zena: Ok, I give you kudos for snatching attractive people's faces off; however, you forgot one major thing: your clothes! Get rid of that apron. Burn it. And since you took someone's face, you might as well take their clothes! C'mon, Leather!

Amanda: Leatherface obviously puts all of his energy into finding and making the perfect face, so much so that he forgets to put any effort into his outfits. To his defense, his family isn't exactly fashionable either, and you learn from what you know and have around you. He does clean up well for family dinners though, and he manages to look dapper in a suit. If only he would dress like Don Draper more often, he wouldn't have landed on our list!

Michael Myers (Halloween)
Amanda: I'm not sure if Michael Myers is trying to kill me, or if he's trying to fix my car. The outfit was something that Michael picked up and put on for its convenience, but he has been out of that hospital for many years now and should have put on something else. I guess when you are pre-occupied with murdering every last member of your family--and anyone else that gets in the way--you're not really worried about your outfit. 
 
Zena: I'm really curious to see what's behind that white mask with the full brown hair. But I'm more curious as to why you think that navy, boring mechanics jumpsuit is intriguing or even scary. It's neither. I hate it. Fail. 

Chucky (Child's Play)
The overalls were cute in the 80s, but in a time where dolls come with five different outfits and accessories, Chucky is totally out of style. If you're going to be stuck in the body of a hideous doll, you might as well make the best of it and try for an outfit change. You have to make yourself look more appealing to the kiddies if you want to stand any chance of stealing their soul and body!

Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th series)
Jason Voorhees has a face that only a mother could love, and a style envied by farmers everywhere. If Jason
was going for the "farmer-chic" look, then he nailed it. But, Jason doesn't farm--he murders sex-crazed teens. The horror fashion police give him a slight pass for his unfortunate and tragic situation, but he got a second chance at life (or something like it); a second chance to look better. And he failed to look better. We don't blame the kids at camp for teasing him--have you seen his collar shirts and un-tailored trousers?! Don't even get us started on that bag he wears on his head--OR THE HOCKEY MASK.

  Bonus: Zena's Picks for Even Worse Dressed Horror Characters

Sarah (Starry Eyes)
I get that some girls are truly into their art, rather if it's dancing or singing, like Sarah. However,there was no reason, for when Sarah was dying, that she had to wear a white cami-tank and Granny drawers. If you insist on walking around or dying in your underwear, people are going to judge you. Throw on some silk. Victoria Secret is infamous for their sales; I suggest you go there. Also, pick up a beanie to cover up your hair since you choose to let it shed all over.

Maria (Slumber Party Massacre II)
I always despised Maria's wardrobe and had no idea how a girl had all those girlfriends, and yet no one helped her. Perhaps they hated her, or didn't like giving fashion tips to girls who have pepperoni shaped nips. 


I guess the schooling system is hiring anyone or anything. This girl was tortured and all, sure, but I'm baffled as to how slutty she dressed. It wasn't fierce, hot or sexy; it was slutty. A leather skirt with tights and no panties? Have you no shame? Better yet, how were you comfortable being around teenagers? I know for fashion we sometimes have to suffer; however, Audrey was being torturous towards herself long before The Orphan Killer came along.

Poor Maddy. She really tried giving herself a makeover so that Trevor would notice her. But I'm afraid she just looked better BEFORE her makeover. I hate to say it, but I think Jason hated her makeover. Give it up, Maddy! 

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